Cultivation

The question of increasing satisfaction in any aspect of life comes down to, choosing what to cultivate.  What would we each wish to feel more, see more, or do more of in our experience?

We can cultivate just about anything in our lives.  It is possible to cultivate skills.  It is possible to cultivate bonds with those around us.  It is possible to cultivate our career path.  It is even possible to cultivate emotional and mental states.  Yes, Joy on tap, is a real possibility.

The first step is to choose.   The second step, is to assess which direction will lead toward what we have chosen.  Remember, that the heart often makes a better compass than the head.  Then, we take a step in that direction.  Again, and again, we step, adjusting course as necessary.  No need to fear changing our mind as we go, as that's just part of the process.

Don’t know how to cultivate what you want?  No problem.  Ask for, and be willing to receive help.  After all, we are not alone.  We share a common desire to be surrounded by happiness, and nurturing each other is the path to collective happiness.

What will you cultivate?

Thanks Receiving

Thanksgiving is a time when we typically pause to consider what we are grateful for.   I like to do the ABC’s of Gratitude at this time of year.  However, just bringing awareness to our own gratitude still doesn’t offer us a complete picture.

This year, consider what you have done that someone else might have gratitude for.  Start with the smallest action, which you might not consider special.  It could be as simple as smiling or making eye contact.   It’s easy to forget how valuable it is, to simply feel acknowledged.   Maybe, consider the service you offer at work, at home, or anywhere.  Those of us in Support, can consider all of the people we have assisted in some way.

You might experience the inner-critic, devaluing things as nothing special, or not worthy.   Notice it, and acknowledge this opinion arise, and know it is just a thought.  A moment of taking oneself for granted.  It doesn’t matter if someone actually expressed gratitude, in words or actions toward you.  All that matters here, is acknowledging your own action.

Take your time with this.  Then, do give thanks to yourself, for the simple acknowledgement you have just given yourself.

Retreat Six: Torch and Origami

I recently returned from a five day retreat.  The timing was perfect,  having spent the last several weeks of dealing with the loss of a significant relationship.  The intention I set was to allow myself to fully open to grief.  I suspected that this would open access to deeper healing that might also be needed.

The cumulative effect of the previous retreats, allowed me to enter with an open heart.  Intense mediation in a mostly silent setting, encouraged my mind to settle, with some concentration exercises helping to focus my attention on the present experience.   I was pleasantly surprised to find ease in letting go of bodily discomfort;  a compassionate breath to any ache quickly dissolved any that arose.

Then came the diad, which asked me to list my positive qualities.  Hello suffering.  Doubt and self judgement is thy name.  I watched myself filter what arose to ensure that the qualities were truly positive enough to mention.  I watched myself hold silent, on those qualities that were judged unworthy of the exercise.  I sat in silence, listening to the unintelligible murmer other pairs, wondering if I was the only one struggling.  Mara told me I had not developed worthy positive qualities.

Later in the day, Metta practice brought me back to court with Mara, who did not speak kindly to me.  This was an opportunity.  Embracing heart ache and tears, I saw the nature of the self judgement.  I had taken the torch from those original holders, and lead the march against myself.  This effort was no longer needed.  It was time to let go.

Time for my scheduled interview with the teacher...  bearing checked and set.

The final day, I entered the morning sit with a sense of peace and equanimity.  I waved away Mara easily.  And then I was paper.

Before reading further, stop and get a piece of paper...

Really, I’ll wait... any piece of paper that that you choose is fine...

Look at the qualities of that paper.  Is it thin or thick?  Is it plain or lined?  What color is it?  Are the edges smooth, having been trimmed, or rough from the raw pressing of the paper?

Now write your name on the piece of paper.... use anything.

Did you use pencil, pen, marker, crayon, or something else?  Did you write in cursive, block text, or draw the letters?  The paper, if it wasn’t already, is now marked.

Now fold the paper in half...

Now fold the paper in half one more time...

Did you make the same fold, or did you change direction of the second fold?  How deeply did you crease the fold?

Now unfold the paper, so it is again flat...

Notice the paper you have before you is not what you started with.  The writing cannot be fully removed.  Even with a pencil, the rubbing of an eraser will mar the paper at least slightly.  The folds are still visible, and cannot be removed, though the paper can be made to silt flat, with some effort.

Once soon as we are born we are marked by life.  Doctors, Parents, Family, and caretakers, As we grow, we are continually marked and folded.  Sometimes willingly, and sometimes not willingly.

Now crumple up the paper and drop it on the floor...

Now step on it...

Really, crumple and step...

Did you hesitate?

Have you followed through with the steps so far? 

We all are marked, but a surprising number, have been treated like the origami project that went wrong.  This invariably leads to the paper being discarded.  Depending on the artist, frustration might lead to spiteful handling of the paper, as anger is deflected from them self onto the object in hand.

Time to pick up the paper.  Imaging pealing back each creased and crumpled section of paper, one at a time.  This might seem like a somewhat futile effort, as it will surely take quite some time if that were the process required.   When we handle people carelessly, the damage can take years to unravel.  In some cases, the paper, the person, are destroyed before anyone attempts to pick up what’s left.

Now un-crumple the paper and smooth it out as well as you can.  You could even go as far as moistening the paper and ironing it.  This will help, though as we noted before, the paper will likely still have discernible marks and signs of folding.

Now, make a paper airplane...

If you don’t know how you can go to http://www.amazingpaperairplanes.com/Basic_Dart.html or similar web site and find instructions for basic or complex designs.

Seriously, go ahead make your airplane and note any resistance you’ve had to any of the steps so far.

Did you follow the design above, or your own, or another design?   What did you feel when you made the airplane?  Silly?  Joyful? Annoyed?  Confused?

If you’ve followed all of the steps above, you now hold in your hand a piece of paper.  It’s the same piece of paper you started with.  It’s been marked and folded and abused. The marks and creases are possibly quite visible.  But now, because of your effort, it can fly.

The Dharma tells us this much.  There are markings of existence, and there is a path which you can follow, folding and unfolding.

Now consider how one piece of paper can be combined with another.  The product is no longer limited by the borders we first were dealing with.   MIT is one place to look for amazing paper art.  Visit http://origamit.scripts.mit.edu/ to see examples and learn about the OrigaMIT Convention.  The whole is greater than than the parts.



Erik and Martin Demaine, Green Waterfall, 2011.

We are temporary expressions of the universe.  Many events lead up to our birth.  We live our lives, reacting and acting.  We die, and our borrowed essence is returned to the universe.  The universe expresses itself in new ways.

That final morning, sitting in silence, I restrained my laughter the best as I could as tears of joy ran down my face.

It is said that we suffer, until we no longer need to.  May you express yourself fully, and share yourself fully,  during this precious lifetime.

What are you are holding on to?

No Pain, No Gain?

A common question starting meditation, is why one should sit through pain, rather than move.  Do we need to be masochists to meditate?

I certainly struggled with this in the beginning as I was striving to for the perfect meditation experience.  Ah, my foolish mind.  The good news is that you do not need to become numb to pain, or cultivate any desire toward pain.

The bad news is that there is a reason to pause, when you experience pain.  The more we are caught up in automatic behavior (whether that's eating, anger, and the list goes on...), the more likely we are to respond without knowing why.  The simple answer is of course, it's pain, and since I'm not brain dead, it's uncomfortable.  But are you sure?  Ever eaten a full meal knowing you aren't hungry?

The practice of pausing, is an opportunity.  It allows you to investigate what's driving.  The signals for discomfort from being hungry, being lonely, or being cramped up from sitting, are not that different.  I found to really work effectively with this practice, there was one thing I had to make a priority:  allow myself to get comfortable.

For me that meant experimenting with different cushions, zabutons, and chairs, (even trying laying down), until I finally found the best balance of comfort and stability was sitting my but down on a bench, with a slightly firm zabuton.  The reason for the zabuton, is two fold.  First, it helps with the pressure on the knees.  The bench mostly eliminates strain from crossing the legs, but introduces some pressure, as you are now kneeling (with much of your weight on the bench).  Second, I discovered that in the beginning, and even now for longer sits, it helps to let my toes hang over the edge to reduce the applied stress to the shins, ankles and feet.  Experiment for yourself.

Also, when settling into position, take your time.  Any pressure points which stand out at the beginning, are likely the areas that will be coming up later in the sit.  Allow yourself a few minutes of grace, to adjust as you feel necessary, knowing this to be an important step to support your body for the time you are asking it to support the mind and heart.

Be kind and compassionate to yourself.  Allow the act of meditation to be a graceful act of love.

ABC's of gratitude

Today is thanksgiving in the U.S. and it reminds me of a simple exercise for inclining the mind toward gratitude.   I am grateful to Stephanie Tate, who first shared this practice with me.  I invite you to participate in this exercise in directing the mind toward what is positive in your life.  Notice your own initial resistance to the overall exercise and and to the objects, people, and other things which come to mind.

Each day, make a list of all of the things you are appreciate in your life that start with the letter of the day.  So start to today with your A's (such as apples, automobiles, awareness, Amy...  Then on the next day, create a list for things starting with the letter B (books, bees, Barbara...), then C on the next day ( chocolate, Chris, carpenters...)  and so on.

I hope you choose to try this experiment for yourself in bringing a touch of mindfulness to daily life. If you get stuck at any point, know that with some letters you may find more resistance, and allow whatever space might be necessary.  You can always come back to it.

Have fun!

Tuning Fork

Tonight I sat with the San Jose Dharma Punx Sangha.  Jason Murphy gave a talk on the ten perfections.  In short, they are Generosity, Virtue, Renunciation, Wisdom, Diligence, Patience, Honesty,  Determination, Loving Kindness, and Equanimity.  I won't go further into them now, but there are plenty of resources online if you wish to read more.

What I would like to share is an appreciation of Sangha as a tuning fork.  When we sit with others, or perhaps more precisely in this case, when we contemplate spiritual teachings with others, we get to see clearer how and where they fit or do not fit in our lives.  I think this is true of any spiritual community, whether Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Pantheist, Wiccan, or other practice.

Tonight, the feeling I had reminded me of when I was struggling to learn to tune a violin by ear.  Each day in practice, I would do my best to turn the keys, plucking and stroking to hear the change, until I could detect no flaw.  Then, the teacher would take the violin and tune it further, until the sound was true.  Slowly, there was less turning needed by the teacher.  Eventually, I could tune the violin precisely and accurately on my own.  

In listening tonight, I was able to see and feel what progress I have (and have not) made, and my momentum on this path.  I certainly am not without need of a teacher to help me with my tuning.  However, I found much gratitude as I realized how much less tuning was needed today.

Karma, or action, determines all things.

Thank you, all.